Udurawana Jokes

Price difference
Udurawana and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Udurawana says, Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Udurawana says, Look at that board. Coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10 .


Donation
Udurawana's son : Dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.
Udurawana : Give him a glass of water.

Udurawana at an Art Gallery
Udurawana : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer : I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Boxer
Udurawana was telling his son about his days as a famous boxer.
"The bell rang and we met in the center of the ring. I threw a left hook, and he got me with a right cross. It was brutal."
The son was proud of his father's courage.
"Then in the second round I took a couple of shots, but held my ground. By the third round I had my opponent worried."
"Did you really?" his son asked.
"You bet, he thought that he had killed me."


Bank robbery
Udurawana and his friend rob a bank and mess it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other,
Udurawana : 'What did you find in your sack?'
Friend : 'Ten lakh Rupees!'
Udurawana : 'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?'
Friend : 'I bought a house. How about your sack?'
Udurawana : 'Bah... it was full of loan documents.'
Friend : 'And what did you do with them?'
Udurawana : 'well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'

Improvement
Udurawana's son was playing in the park while Udurawana sitting on a bench with his friend.
Udurawana : Son ! What is 9 multiplied by 8 ?
Son : 76
Udurawana : Good!
Udurawana 's friend got terrified.
Friend: Are you crazy ???? 9 multiplied by 8 is 72. Your boy said 76 and you congratulated him.
Udurawana : He has improved a lot. He used to say 80.

Eye doctor
Udurawana goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there.
Udurawana complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?"
and Udurawana replies, "No, just spots."

Salt Seller
Do you really sell that much salt? A friend asks Udurawana who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of salt.
"No " says Udurawana. "I sell maximum two boxes a month. To be honest with you, I'm not a good salt seller. But the one who sell me salt, he's a good salt seller."

Stop looking at girls
Wife to Udurawana : Stop looking at girls. Do not forget you are married now.
Udurawana : You mean if I am on diet, I can't look at the menu also ?


Fart
Udurawana drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly.
Man next to him : Excuse me, but you just farted before my wife.
Udurawana : Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn.