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Thursday, January 3, 2008

Udurawana Jokes

Best Friend
A man to Udurawana : Your best friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Udurawana : Are you sure ????.
Man : Yes, If you don't believe me, go & see for yourself.
Udurawana rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man & said: You lier, he is not my best friend.

American : In our country, marriage even takes place with email.
Udurawana : In Sri Lanka, it is only with a female.

Will you love me ???
Girl : Will you love me after marriage also?
Udurawana : Yes, if your husband allows me.

Udurawana was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.
When Udurawana returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
Udurawana nodded..."I'll tell you though, I was going to drop dead on the 3rd day."
"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from "SKIPPING" "

The Right Step
Two drunk friends, Udurawana and Andapala were walking along a dirt road one day when they came across a pile of some brown stuff on the ground.
"Is that s**t?" Udurawana said.
"I don't know." Responded Andapala as he bent over, "it smells like s**t."
Udurawana leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. "It feels like s**t!"
Andapala too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth. "Sure tastes like s**t, buddy! I think it's definitely s**t."
"Hooooeee!" Responded Udurawana, "Good thing we didn't step in it!"

Accident Scene
Two guys were roaring down a road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over.
His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air Hitting me in the chest like that."
"Just put the jacket on backwards," his friend advised.
They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.
Udurawana came upon the accident and ran to call the police.
The police asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?"
"Well," Udurawana explained, "The driver was alive, until I turned his head around the right way!"

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